Miss you amma...

In Malayalam there is a saying that pretty much translates as "You don't know the value of an eye when you have one. Its only when you lose it that you realize its importance." At this point in my life I fully understand what it really means...In my case though the eye that i ignored was my mom...

It was a week ago she got transfer to Kannur..A place that takes roughly half a days journey by train from Kochi, my home town...I have never thought myself too attached to my mom. I was never a pampered kid, I never shared my secrets with my mom like some of my friends do, I never bothered to hug her and thank her for everything she had done for me..If anything we used to have humongous fights for the stupidest reasons..literally disagreeing on every second topic. And to be honest there were times when i wished i could live my life without her advice!!

So initially i thought of her shifting to Kannur as a blessing in disguise...Now i could have all the freedom in the world...do whatever i want without being checked by her...Wow!!! This was my dream!!!

But as soon as i get what i wished for ages i regret it...

I laughed at my little sister who was crying when she heard about ammas plans to move out. The same me was crying like a baby the night before she actually moved to kannur..I couldn't sleep for an entire night...the thought of not having amma around me anymore was way too depressing...I thought i was all grown up and could deal without having amma to fuss over me...But that night i realized no matter how grown up i am, no matter how much i want to live my life on my own terms, no matter how much i fight with my mom....at the end of the day there is no one who can replace my mom and life without her really 'hurts'...I realized i had taken her for granted...