Friday, September 11, 2009

Arranged marriage? Excuse me please!!

Strangely enough my whole life revolved around finding Mr. Right and living happily ever after!
I was curious about this mystery person who would at one point take my hand in marriage and wondered if it would be a fairy tale or a nightmare come true. That is precisely why when it actually came to the point of making a decision of tieing the knot i was in a muddle. Sure, it is a wonderful thing to dream about but the nearer you get to the point of making the decision of settling down the more unsettling it is!

As soon as i completed my post graduation my mom got stung by "the-groom-hunting-bug". Once afflicted by its venom amma got into an insane frenzy of deciding to narrow down a suitable son-in-law for her elder daughter. Before i could blink she managed to arrange a pennukanal! I was flabbergasted to say the least. What about my dreams of running away and having a love marriage?! But then reality flashed in front of me - I do not have any lover bold enough to settle down with me in the first place! I am done with my studies, have a decent job and most important of all I have nothing better to do! So whats the point in resisting!

Pennukanal was awkward. Trust me it is the most embarrassing thing to be left alone in a room with a guy you are meeting for the first time in life and being asked to have small talk! It was more than obvious that we didn't know what to talk and i spent most of the time fixing my attention on the floor thinking intensely to turn up with questions to ask my potential future husband. It was obvious both of us were blank as black boards and wanted to get it over with!

My parents asked me if i liked the guy. "Well...umm...eh...err...your decision will be mine too" was all i could mumble. After all he seemed nice. Let us see where it goes. After i muttered those words, that things proceeded at lightening speed. Before i knew, it was decided i would be getting married to the guy who came to see me for my very first pennukanal.

From then on it was an attempt to get to know each other which got complicated with the fact that he had to fly to the US for some project. Internet and long distance calls were the only source of communication. God bless whoever invented it! Sleepless nights to battle the time difference and keeping in touch ensued for the 4 months until our engagement. It was during those days i realised i am lucky enough to have some one as good as him. More than anything else i realised he was kind, simple and caring. Without a doubt he was a better human being than i ever was.

Almost one year into the marriage my views haven't changed and each day i realise how lucky i am to be blessed with a partner who spoils me with abundance of love and a sense of security. So, does arranged marriage work in today's world? Hell Yeah!!

6 comments:

anu alfred said...

After reading your bolg i really wish to get married as soon as possible...but ha, im not lucky enough that, neither i hav completed my studies nor i have a any job...how bad nah...but no prob i am ready to wait for my
Mr. RIGHT....LOL

Jasmine Rahul said...

Arranged marriage works.Sometimes fairy tales also become reality.I can feel romance in ur article.U always dreamt of a Prince charming....Finally u met him

Anonymous said...

hmmm... arranged / love... the difference I see is the point where love starts.
In this case, I believe, love started after the arrangement.
And regarding the Mr. Right thing, its just the way you look at your partner.
About this blogger, being my spouse, I can say one thing for sure. Her view of me reflects her own attitude.
Her positive attitude helps her see my good attributes. This way, every one is Mr or Mrs Right. It is in the minds of the beholder. So, Mr. Right's are in abundance, Sis!

surya said...

hii nice article. now after reading this i feel tat i am also going thru wat u had gone thru.... u know pennukannal is really boring,it is irritating and trust me enbarrasing as well... but i hope that my parents will find that mr. right for me .. i am keeping my fingers crossed

Unknown said...

beautiful and highly romantic...made me smile wide throughout the reading..well I've never experienced a pennukanal but felt as if i was going through one..thanks to your detailed description..and yeah my misconceptions are shattered..was wondering about how i would be able to love a stranger!and i should say that this article was the most interesting for a 20 year old li'l woman!!your attitudes are worth praising.. touch-wood on your beautiful married life..God bless!

menaka said...

hi....beautiful words.arranged marriages are absurdity to me...but your write up made me smile(with a lil bit of shyness..why?).it needs a good heart to love and appreciate your hubby as a better human than you,trully touching. so nothing wrong in utterring "Well...umm...eh...err...your decision will be mine too"well, i too will try my luck!